I Remember the Days When Photoshopping Wasn't a Crime

Via Local6.com, "Police: Principal Cropped Student's Face Onto Pornographic Images:"

John Stelmack, 60, the principal at Scott Lake Elementary School in Lakeland, was arrested at his home, located at 5749 Deer Track Trail in Lakeland, and charged with five counts of possession of child pornography....
According to a Polk County sheriff's report, Stelmack took routine photographs of children in a school setting, including a 10-year-old who attended Scott Lake Elementary last year, and digitally superimposed their faces onto nude images. The identified girl's facial image was on four of the pictures, and another unidentified female child's face was placed on the body of another nude image, the report stated.

You get a cookie if you can explain to me how faking child pornography for one's own perverted amusement actually constitutes child pornography. If you should succeed in convincing me, then we call ride out together, under cloak of darkness, and hunt out every sicko who's ever even drawn a picture of a girl who could possibly be imagined as being underage. Onward, soldiers!

Next: we talk to Jennifer Aniston and Natalie Portman, as they consider suing every person who's ever photoshopped their heads onto the bodies of pornstars over invasions of privacy.