Elmo Will F*ckin' Cut You

Elmo doll makes death threats (TBO.com)

I wish I were enough of a bumpkin to believe that, not only can a toy contain the concentrated essence of Satan himself, but also that this qualifies as "newsworthy." I've seen the video of the Elmo doll "speaking," and it sounds like it could be saying any number of phrases: half of a word may be getting cut off, it could be saying "tell," it could even have switched to Spanish for some reason. I see this as just another parent jumping to conclusions, and an idiotic media outlet sensationalizing a story (because it's fun to take a swipe at success), akin to the "Fuck You" Pikachu a few years back. Talking dolls are barely comprehensible when they're speaking properly - you shouldn't be surprised when they appear to be speaking in tongues when they're broken.